They Say It Happens Like this, But I Refused To Believe It.

She visited last month and when she hugged me goodbye, I can't quite fully explain what happened.
I cryed, I didn't just cry; I bawled and the tears could have watered Egypt. I just hugged her under Orange County's perfect sunny weather...and cryed like clouds were in the sky. Afterwards, we parted and my parents walked to their 96' Chevy Suberban and took off for the Great Lakes. I had never let loose such emotions saying bye to her before, maybe my body knew before I did that something was to happen...and it was warning me to prepare myself.

Cancer!

Cancer?

Cancer.....

Even saying it three times over doesn't bring it to reality. It happens to everyone else...you say the words, "Thats sucks, gosh I am so sorry". In fact I remember saying them and not fully understanding the weight of such words. Such words really have no meaning...because it doesn't change the facts, and it doesn't magically erase the damage. It doesn't take away the apparent and real fact that we have to face. On the outside for this whole time she felt fine, happy and healthy...but 24 hours later we get snapshots of the greater picture. Inside of her she has something thats well, "not very nice". This visitor didn't ask politely to come in and discuss this...like the cold that leads to the flu; common curtosy. It's an intrudor, and he is hiding in closet waiting for us to come home. Just waiting.

I think my body knew before I really did. Mom, If your reading this ->because I know you are...you little online stalker you ; )

Mom, I love you....and I want to get you a blonde Farrah wig.

Okay Okay,

I went too far. Again.

How about something curly? and long.




so fight the good fight.

bring it on.