I can't lie.
I fell in love.
and for once I have no words.
we.just.are.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Yearly Memories
My earliest memory is when I was 3 and my parents to me to a small orange building that used to be off Saginaw. It was where I first met Mr. Wilson. The man that helped me be able to live a some what normal life. I remember standing inbetween my parents while he gave me a hive five and I laughed then clung to my mom's leg. Every once in a while I remember that day... I remember how painful it all was. I remember the amount of time and effort my parents invested in those first years for me. The trips to my dad's work....the therapy, and the headphones. How much "Part of your World" from "the little mermaid"....had more meaning than I could grasp then. But that memory of the first meeting with him. Priceless. Thats the biggest shift in my life....yet I don't remember most of it.
Unfortunately Mr. Wilson died when I was 12. Car Accident...
I forget that this gift I was given...shouldn't be wasted. Though sometimes I forget that....so they are yearly memories.
Unfortunately Mr. Wilson died when I was 12. Car Accident...
I forget that this gift I was given...shouldn't be wasted. Though sometimes I forget that....so they are yearly memories.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Over A Year Now
I moved to L.A over a year ago. Since it stays over 60 degrees year round it hard to remember the months now a days...or even the seasons.
To be honest....sometimes it feels like I have done nothing for a year. Even though I have done some pretty cool things. Like - I couldn't stop loved ones from getting sick....and I didn't get a degree in anything. However - I grew into myself....and I think thats the most important thing.
I have learned that the people that still call even though they haven't seen your face in months...are truly your best friends....the miles inbetween makes no difference to them. I also find that the people in this city that cling to their insecurities and never follow through on anything...well they're search for fame and possible friendships are limited. I think the hardest part about being in L.A. is finding people that arn't just here for themselves. So many people want the spotlight....but the question is "for what?" If you seek the attention just to "express yourself" it seems undeserving...because what you should be seeking is change. Whatever the cause may be...but something that really grabs not your attention...but others. Friendships here have really opened my eyes....showing me some really dark places to people and what I could become if I let myself become that selfish. It's also shown me that sometimes people only want to be friends with you for the " I'll scratch your back if you scratch my back" mentaility. Not something to base a solid relationship on.
The other issue I have had...is boys. I had been dating this guy.....but the issue was that he can't commit to anything and he only wanted to be there....when it was convienant for him.
Dear Boy-
Unfortunately; Dear, there are two people in this tango....and it doesn't matter how macho or manly you try to live up to be...you fail miserably when it comes to classy women like myself. Because what makes a Man from a Boy is how he treats people. A woman is not always there when "your" ready...sometimes I wanted to be with you and your response was to not pick up the phone and then blame it on the fact that you only check your voicemail once a week and that you would love it if we had some pizza tonight.....ahem....you called me at 11 at night and you expect me to change my clothes and be with you? I don't think so.
yeah - try again asshole. with another woman, cause this one's gone.
But besides those minor details....L.A. is one fabulous place to be....it's one city where truly the harder your work at something you will see results. Also it truly does show a persons true colors.
Much Love.
Katy
To be honest....sometimes it feels like I have done nothing for a year. Even though I have done some pretty cool things. Like - I couldn't stop loved ones from getting sick....and I didn't get a degree in anything. However - I grew into myself....and I think thats the most important thing.
I have learned that the people that still call even though they haven't seen your face in months...are truly your best friends....the miles inbetween makes no difference to them. I also find that the people in this city that cling to their insecurities and never follow through on anything...well they're search for fame and possible friendships are limited. I think the hardest part about being in L.A. is finding people that arn't just here for themselves. So many people want the spotlight....but the question is "for what?" If you seek the attention just to "express yourself" it seems undeserving...because what you should be seeking is change. Whatever the cause may be...but something that really grabs not your attention...but others. Friendships here have really opened my eyes....showing me some really dark places to people and what I could become if I let myself become that selfish. It's also shown me that sometimes people only want to be friends with you for the " I'll scratch your back if you scratch my back" mentaility. Not something to base a solid relationship on.
The other issue I have had...is boys. I had been dating this guy.....but the issue was that he can't commit to anything and he only wanted to be there....when it was convienant for him.
Dear Boy-
Unfortunately; Dear, there are two people in this tango....and it doesn't matter how macho or manly you try to live up to be...you fail miserably when it comes to classy women like myself. Because what makes a Man from a Boy is how he treats people. A woman is not always there when "your" ready...sometimes I wanted to be with you and your response was to not pick up the phone and then blame it on the fact that you only check your voicemail once a week and that you would love it if we had some pizza tonight.....ahem....you called me at 11 at night and you expect me to change my clothes and be with you? I don't think so.
yeah - try again asshole. with another woman, cause this one's gone.
But besides those minor details....L.A. is one fabulous place to be....it's one city where truly the harder your work at something you will see results. Also it truly does show a persons true colors.
Much Love.
Katy
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Katy Kettles Dreams Wide Awake
I started reading this book called "Wide Awake" by Erwin McManus (who also happens to be the pastor of the church I got to). This was a good book to pick up because the first thing it points out is a person's dreams. I then had to ask myself a good question - "Katy, what is your dream and are you doing everything in your power to accomplish that dream so that way you wont be just another unfullfilled person".
Well, my dream now is a little different. People have now seen me been a model for Torrid...thats great and it's a cool thing to say about myself, but it's merely just a stepping stone for me. People have seen me be a counselor, that was great and I loved being there for my campers, but that to me (as well) was merely a stepping stone to show myself that a leader is inside of me. A long time ago people saw me act on a stage, all these things add up. Also on occassion you may have been one of the rare to see me sing solo...that too also adds up in this whole dream.
My dream is simply to be known, so that way I can have an impact on the world. I don't mean fame or fortune, but known for the kind of art I decide to color this world with in that moment. In my opinion God has blessed me with many challenging life stories and from these I choose to channel them in either a painting, a short story/poem, a photograph, a song or even acting in a film or play that I feel has something that would speak to an individual.
I want to make an impact, a dent in this world. How ever which way God sends me to do that...thats his decision. After a while I just learned I can't fight his winds...I fall over too easily so I might as well go with it.
The way I get to this end goal is by (as Erwin calls it) being the explorer. I am always going out on auditions, talking with photographers, painting pictures, and writing. Doing all the things I am suppossed to be doing. I seek the opportunitys that are just waiting for me. Sometimes they come from the most random of places, but the key point is that I always have an opportunity to grow. Right now for example I am working on a painting for Erwin's church that will be a part of their "Hope In The City" gallary and will be auctioned off. Pretty cool.
Sometimes I know I come off as a free-spirit and about 99% of the time I like knowing whats not going to happen next...I am kind of a thrill seeker. (Let's remember I moved to a city without even seeing it first and my main reason was because I was cold - yeah) But this is pretty awesome, because for once i actually had to pause and think about what all these mediums I work with...what goal am I actually going forth to....one that makes all the zany things I do or say make sense.
God makes sense, Making an impact on this world through God's hand on me makes even more sense.
I like knowing. Knowing is powerful.
Here's a few passages from Erwins book that I like,
"Life is not a color by the lines project; life is a work of art.you have to keep mixing colors, creating new blends,and seeing things in fresh ways.You must be willing to get paint ALL OVER YOU.Life is about growth.Growth demands change.Change requires humility.Sometimes you need to bring change;sometimes you need to be changed."
"If your going to create the life of your dreams, you're going to need to dream big so you can live big. Your life will never become what you do not dare to imagine. You will not become everything you dream of, but you'll never become anything you don't dream of."
" I have come to a place where I simply think of every human being as pre-great. Whether in poverty or wealth, whether educated formally or informally, whether from the Americas or Africa or Austrailia, I have found the same result -- People are the most underused and undervalued resource on this planet. Earth's unlimited resource is the gifts, talent, passion, imagination, and ingenuity or it's citizens."
: ) I Dream Wide Awake. Do you?
Well, my dream now is a little different. People have now seen me been a model for Torrid...thats great and it's a cool thing to say about myself, but it's merely just a stepping stone for me. People have seen me be a counselor, that was great and I loved being there for my campers, but that to me (as well) was merely a stepping stone to show myself that a leader is inside of me. A long time ago people saw me act on a stage, all these things add up. Also on occassion you may have been one of the rare to see me sing solo...that too also adds up in this whole dream.
My dream is simply to be known, so that way I can have an impact on the world. I don't mean fame or fortune, but known for the kind of art I decide to color this world with in that moment. In my opinion God has blessed me with many challenging life stories and from these I choose to channel them in either a painting, a short story/poem, a photograph, a song or even acting in a film or play that I feel has something that would speak to an individual.
I want to make an impact, a dent in this world. How ever which way God sends me to do that...thats his decision. After a while I just learned I can't fight his winds...I fall over too easily so I might as well go with it.
The way I get to this end goal is by (as Erwin calls it) being the explorer. I am always going out on auditions, talking with photographers, painting pictures, and writing. Doing all the things I am suppossed to be doing. I seek the opportunitys that are just waiting for me. Sometimes they come from the most random of places, but the key point is that I always have an opportunity to grow. Right now for example I am working on a painting for Erwin's church that will be a part of their "Hope In The City" gallary and will be auctioned off. Pretty cool.
Sometimes I know I come off as a free-spirit and about 99% of the time I like knowing whats not going to happen next...I am kind of a thrill seeker. (Let's remember I moved to a city without even seeing it first and my main reason was because I was cold - yeah) But this is pretty awesome, because for once i actually had to pause and think about what all these mediums I work with...what goal am I actually going forth to....one that makes all the zany things I do or say make sense.
God makes sense, Making an impact on this world through God's hand on me makes even more sense.
I like knowing. Knowing is powerful.
Here's a few passages from Erwins book that I like,
"Life is not a color by the lines project; life is a work of art.you have to keep mixing colors, creating new blends,and seeing things in fresh ways.You must be willing to get paint ALL OVER YOU.Life is about growth.Growth demands change.Change requires humility.Sometimes you need to bring change;sometimes you need to be changed."
"If your going to create the life of your dreams, you're going to need to dream big so you can live big. Your life will never become what you do not dare to imagine. You will not become everything you dream of, but you'll never become anything you don't dream of."
" I have come to a place where I simply think of every human being as pre-great. Whether in poverty or wealth, whether educated formally or informally, whether from the Americas or Africa or Austrailia, I have found the same result -- People are the most underused and undervalued resource on this planet. Earth's unlimited resource is the gifts, talent, passion, imagination, and ingenuity or it's citizens."
: ) I Dream Wide Awake. Do you?
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Much Love
Even with everthing thats going on, I still find love in this world. Many, many times. Truly blessed.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
If I Were
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be God
looking down
looking upon
this world he's so devoted to.
Because he looks through all the prayers
and has to listen to all the pleases
but then waits even longer for the "Thank Yous"
I ponder
these thoughts
looking down
looking upon
this world he's so devoted to.
Because he looks through all the prayers
and has to listen to all the pleases
but then waits even longer for the "Thank Yous"
I ponder
these thoughts
Keep It Holy
It's been a week since I found out, I deserve a day of rest.
Emotions are running high, things need fixing that can't be fixed....I have to give it to God. I have to give myself a day of rest.
Let it rest.
Charming?
So; everyone tells me it's a bad idea, but I am kind of the "Queen" of bad ideas. I am totally okay for taking resposibility for the high number of errors in my past. Yeah...it's a high number. I think I stopped counting after the age of 10. Because lets face it the only thing I got in trouble for before the double digits set in, was for being an original child. In fact most of my friends mothers remember me some-what foundly...one in particular will always remind me of how I would climb on her counter and go looking for food, because I was hungry and she wasn't in the kitchen. I thought I was being nice for "NOT" getting her. My bad, but it made perfect sense in my mind.
Basically what I am trying to get at is, I am human. I am not superman...although it would be awesome to fly...and I am not a man (obviously). A lot of times my ex would lament over when a situation is placed in front of me "good and bad"; I choose bad.....because... well, it seems interesting.
Because...well....it's never boring. At least I hope it doesn't become boring.
Self-Portrait for Today-
Is the picture above. If you haven't noticed, I love love love love trees. In my opinion, they define God and our faith life. God is the tree, stable, long lasting remaining faithful strong in his roots. Our faith is like the leaves, changing constantly...sometimes we are in full bloom, sometimes we fall and stray away....but we always can be re-newed. We can always grow again once we have found the warmth , light and water. And in the picture the tree behind the fence is like my heart. and the fence is like my ribs....protecting. It is well-guarded.....for the man in my heart is God and he protects me....like an old friend used to say..."I am like a guard dog bearing his teeth". Smart Friend.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Right Where I Started.
I guess
I'm back
where I started.
Still in shock, I feel a little bit scattered, but it's okay. I guess that how it's supposed to feel.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Life
Sometimes full
sometimes too many things in the picture
or sometimes we feel
alone.
That is life. Unpredictable.
Self- Portrait 4/24/09- Pieces, I am In Pieces.
Sometimes we just feel this way...pieced apart, with lots of emotions, hoeful, sad, angry. peaceful...all at the same time.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Self-Portrait Day 2 - Shades of Blue Shoes
I decided to think back before I recieved the news, so I took a trip and walked in my own shoes.
Self-Portrait Day 1 - Shades of Purple Tears
I decided to document not only my "writable" feelings on what is happening, but also my emotional status through a lens. Because even though I am 2,000 miles away...it still effects each and every day here on out. Today she talked of how another doctor agreed on what the right treatment for this is....
Well suprise! She still has it... and Chemo is still the choice of venom.
She sounds so cheerful on the phone, so sure of herself and the cards played. While in true 20 year old mind-set...I refuse to believe the reality, and so I layed my head back onto the grass, cryed behind my sunglasses and slept. Because it was all I could do. It's all I can do. I can't fix it...I can't stop, I can only wait.
"I'm that single little cloud
on a sunny day
just floatin along
ruining the perfect blue skies."
(new song I am working on)
I'm all Shades of Purple right now.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
They Say It Happens Like this, But I Refused To Believe It.
She visited last month and when she hugged me goodbye, I can't quite fully explain what happened.
I cryed, I didn't just cry; I bawled and the tears could have watered Egypt. I just hugged her under Orange County's perfect sunny weather...and cryed like clouds were in the sky. Afterwards, we parted and my parents walked to their 96' Chevy Suberban and took off for the Great Lakes. I had never let loose such emotions saying bye to her before, maybe my body knew before I did that something was to happen...and it was warning me to prepare myself.
Cancer!
Cancer?
Cancer.....
Even saying it three times over doesn't bring it to reality. It happens to everyone else...you say the words, "Thats sucks, gosh I am so sorry". In fact I remember saying them and not fully understanding the weight of such words. Such words really have no meaning...because it doesn't change the facts, and it doesn't magically erase the damage. It doesn't take away the apparent and real fact that we have to face. On the outside for this whole time she felt fine, happy and healthy...but 24 hours later we get snapshots of the greater picture. Inside of her she has something thats well, "not very nice". This visitor didn't ask politely to come in and discuss this...like the cold that leads to the flu; common curtosy. It's an intrudor, and he is hiding in closet waiting for us to come home. Just waiting.
I think my body knew before I really did. Mom, If your reading this ->because I know you are...you little online stalker you ; )
Mom, I love you....and I want to get you a blonde Farrah wig.
Okay Okay,
I went too far. Again.
How about something curly? and long.
so fight the good fight.
bring it on.
I cryed, I didn't just cry; I bawled and the tears could have watered Egypt. I just hugged her under Orange County's perfect sunny weather...and cryed like clouds were in the sky. Afterwards, we parted and my parents walked to their 96' Chevy Suberban and took off for the Great Lakes. I had never let loose such emotions saying bye to her before, maybe my body knew before I did that something was to happen...and it was warning me to prepare myself.
Cancer!
Cancer?
Cancer.....
Even saying it three times over doesn't bring it to reality. It happens to everyone else...you say the words, "Thats sucks, gosh I am so sorry". In fact I remember saying them and not fully understanding the weight of such words. Such words really have no meaning...because it doesn't change the facts, and it doesn't magically erase the damage. It doesn't take away the apparent and real fact that we have to face. On the outside for this whole time she felt fine, happy and healthy...but 24 hours later we get snapshots of the greater picture. Inside of her she has something thats well, "not very nice". This visitor didn't ask politely to come in and discuss this...like the cold that leads to the flu; common curtosy. It's an intrudor, and he is hiding in closet waiting for us to come home. Just waiting.
I think my body knew before I really did. Mom, If your reading this ->because I know you are...you little online stalker you ; )
Mom, I love you....and I want to get you a blonde Farrah wig.
Okay Okay,
I went too far. Again.
How about something curly? and long.
so fight the good fight.
bring it on.
Friday, April 10, 2009
set me
free
lets go to the woods, lots and lots of greenery
lets be set free
in areas where our hands have not touched
set free.
lets go to the woods, lots and lots of greenery
lets be set free
in areas where our hands have not touched
set free.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Lighting Fires
I felt this burning sensation when I drove down south the 5 freeway, even when it was only 60 degrees outside. I itched and could feel fire grasping my left arm. However the rest of me was ice cold...like how everyone else must have felt in their cars. I guess it could have been a fever...but there was such a rush to it, I was feverishly seeking this fire I had lighted. When did I make the kindling that helps ground such a powerful and magnificent force.
Wait; make?
I am the Match...I was intrigued. God was the kindling...the starting ground.
Seek self growth.
Light fires.
Wait; make?
I am the Match...I was intrigued. God was the kindling...the starting ground.
Seek self growth.
Light fires.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Overwhelmed....With Being A C-Person....Joyous
In church today the pastor talked about how some people view the world in ABC's
there are A-people, B-people, and C-People. These kinds of people see the A-People as the people you want to be and the people you want on your team. The B-People as the people you have just for common jobs and mindless work and then C-People, the kind you don't want and will never go anywhere.
In school...I was a C-Person. I didn't get the best grades and honestly sometimes I passed because someone believed I would be better, that if they held me back they would not be doing the world or I any favors. These people didn't believe in ABC's they believed in hard work and potential to be a better version on one's self. I am a better version myself because of people who didn't believe in their ABC's.
Go C's
there are A-people, B-people, and C-People. These kinds of people see the A-People as the people you want to be and the people you want on your team. The B-People as the people you have just for common jobs and mindless work and then C-People, the kind you don't want and will never go anywhere.
In school...I was a C-Person. I didn't get the best grades and honestly sometimes I passed because someone believed I would be better, that if they held me back they would not be doing the world or I any favors. These people didn't believe in ABC's they believed in hard work and potential to be a better version on one's self. I am a better version myself because of people who didn't believe in their ABC's.
Go C's
Saturday, March 7, 2009
what I want to do
I want to walk around without my glasses on...for an entire day
then at the end for the sunset put on my glasses and appreciate my sight....
Oh how glorious.....I want to be at the point of my life where there are no more seas to see.....
then at the end for the sunset put on my glasses and appreciate my sight....
Oh how glorious.....I want to be at the point of my life where there are no more seas to see.....
My Words...are Sheading Light on My Path.
Okay
these; these are my words
what I am writing and saying and contemplating
wrapping my mind around
the facts and my opinions
so remember, the freedom of speech is the freedom to dissagree.
these; these are my words
what I am writing and saying and contemplating
wrapping my mind around
the facts and my opinions
so remember, the freedom of speech is the freedom to dissagree.
Friday, February 13, 2009
for thought
I dyed my hair back to auburn
missed the fire in my hair
not to mention I found 6 greys
thanks Mom, I got your genes.
I'll be white by 25
and I'll have my colorist on speed dial.
Maybe thats why I attract older men...I get greys. (?)
also...I like how it intensifies my eyes without me having to try
It's kind of fascinating.
really, it's stellar.
this:: this moment right now
I'm smiling
that anxious smile
where the edges are fighting back from my teeth being shown
it's marvelous
this::this moment
is treasured.
missed the fire in my hair
not to mention I found 6 greys
thanks Mom, I got your genes.
I'll be white by 25
and I'll have my colorist on speed dial.
Maybe thats why I attract older men...I get greys. (?)
also...I like how it intensifies my eyes without me having to try
It's kind of fascinating.
really, it's stellar.
this:: this moment right now
I'm smiling
that anxious smile
where the edges are fighting back from my teeth being shown
it's marvelous
this::this moment
is treasured.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Saturday, January 31, 2009
A couple pages and a character list of This play I thought of....thoughts?
BLOGS
By Katy Kettles
Characters
Amber –
She’s 16 year old girl with weight problems and who is always in a constant struggle with her mother over them. Likes fashion but can’t wear the clothes she wants from the difficulties of being a teenage girl. She is also a little boy crazy or boy wishful and she’s quite pure and innocent from afar. Often sarcastic.
Blog Amber-
The girl whom the real Amber sees herself as being in her mind. She’s a skinny, fashionable and more sexy than the real Amber. Confidence wreaks out of her.
Ambers Mom-
One of the two characters without a duel personality. Strong, pretty and cookie cutter. Iron fist.
James-
He’s 24 years old and in his Senior year of college studying Psychology. Engaged to a girl named Joy, except she in his opinion is not that joyful. In a constant struggle with true love and his relationship with Joy. Not confident in his looks to get a woman who treats him well so he settled with the first one who came along.
Blog James-
Suave. A rippling sexy man like an Abercrombie n’ fitch model.
Joy-
Extremely appealing in person but with a nasty temper and a need for control. Settled for James because she thinks of him like a puppy.
Heather-
A business woman in her 30’s. On the outside she looks strong and beautiful. Keeps things in like her drunken father who raped her and is trying to get back into her life.
Blog Heather-
She is quite damaged. Not like her real self at all.
BLOGS
Act One, Scene One
(The stage has three different “bedrooms” and three different computers at each one. One is the bedroom of a teenager with an old rusty PC. The second is of an abused laptop from college. The third is a fancy pristine computer set-up, state of the art. The lights come up on the set-up of the rusty PC where Amber walks in, slams the door and sits at the computer screen with a vacant look. After a few moments of silence a pounding is heard on the door from Amber’s Mother)
Amber’s Mother: (yelling) Open up this door Amber! You know better than to make a scene at the dinner table and especially in front of company. Do you understand…Amber? Honestly Amber this is ridiculous, you didn’t need that ice cream. (pause) You want to fit into that dress for homecoming don’t you? Because in order to do that we have to make some sacrifices and that means no ice cream. (pause) Besides beauty is pain Amber…Okay Amber, fine. You don’t want to talk to me? Is this what I am hearing from your agonizing silence of grief from the loss of your precious food? Get over it dear, look at the dress and remember that I love you…Now I am going to clean up after the ludicrous scene you just made in front of the youth pastor and I will talk to you later.
(footsteps are heard offstage)
Amber: (mocking) agonizing silence of grief from the loss of your food? Wow; such love.
(turns on the computer. It begins to make some noises and Amber hits it really hard and then it goes back to normal)
Amber: Besides, (gets up leans against the door and whispers) You bought the dress two sizes too small on purpose Mother. (reveals the dress hanging on the edge on the desk and starts typing)
(at this moment Blog Amber appears with a bowl of ice cream and wearing the dress while Amber is still typing)
Blog Amber: 7:08 pm on October 10th 2006. Mothers… Mothers…MOTHERS! (eats the ice cream and rants) They think they know everything. They think they are some “powerful” God that rules over the domestically conformed house to society’s standards. That is ludicracy, not my free-will to eat ice cream. Besides I think I look great eating ice cream in this dress, in theory not at all attractive but extremely satisfying. (smothers Ice cream into her mouth) Yummmmmm! That’s what I call a meal for the soul. (sets down the ice cream) Can’t beat happiness on a spoon MOTHER!
Amber: (Sighs and slams her fist on the computer counter hard and returns to typing)
Blog Amber: (not hesitating) Being sixteen these days is not easy. I deal with the stupidity of the generation that went before me. They believed in food, they believed in steak and mashed potatoes, they believed sugar was to make your kid sweeter. What we believe in is “going green” and resorting to our lives depending on the amount of calories we intake. We should be counting how many days the sun actually shines or really counting how many licks it takes to get to the center of the tootsie pop. That’s what we should be doing. I mean it’s grand and all to start eating better, but some days I just want normalcy. I want to enjoy an ice cream bowl every once in a while without having my motives questioned or having someone take it away from me. I never thought that would be too much to ask but apparently IT IS!
By Katy Kettles
Characters
Amber –
She’s 16 year old girl with weight problems and who is always in a constant struggle with her mother over them. Likes fashion but can’t wear the clothes she wants from the difficulties of being a teenage girl. She is also a little boy crazy or boy wishful and she’s quite pure and innocent from afar. Often sarcastic.
Blog Amber-
The girl whom the real Amber sees herself as being in her mind. She’s a skinny, fashionable and more sexy than the real Amber. Confidence wreaks out of her.
Ambers Mom-
One of the two characters without a duel personality. Strong, pretty and cookie cutter. Iron fist.
James-
He’s 24 years old and in his Senior year of college studying Psychology. Engaged to a girl named Joy, except she in his opinion is not that joyful. In a constant struggle with true love and his relationship with Joy. Not confident in his looks to get a woman who treats him well so he settled with the first one who came along.
Blog James-
Suave. A rippling sexy man like an Abercrombie n’ fitch model.
Joy-
Extremely appealing in person but with a nasty temper and a need for control. Settled for James because she thinks of him like a puppy.
Heather-
A business woman in her 30’s. On the outside she looks strong and beautiful. Keeps things in like her drunken father who raped her and is trying to get back into her life.
Blog Heather-
She is quite damaged. Not like her real self at all.
BLOGS
Act One, Scene One
(The stage has three different “bedrooms” and three different computers at each one. One is the bedroom of a teenager with an old rusty PC. The second is of an abused laptop from college. The third is a fancy pristine computer set-up, state of the art. The lights come up on the set-up of the rusty PC where Amber walks in, slams the door and sits at the computer screen with a vacant look. After a few moments of silence a pounding is heard on the door from Amber’s Mother)
Amber’s Mother: (yelling) Open up this door Amber! You know better than to make a scene at the dinner table and especially in front of company. Do you understand…Amber? Honestly Amber this is ridiculous, you didn’t need that ice cream. (pause) You want to fit into that dress for homecoming don’t you? Because in order to do that we have to make some sacrifices and that means no ice cream. (pause) Besides beauty is pain Amber…Okay Amber, fine. You don’t want to talk to me? Is this what I am hearing from your agonizing silence of grief from the loss of your precious food? Get over it dear, look at the dress and remember that I love you…Now I am going to clean up after the ludicrous scene you just made in front of the youth pastor and I will talk to you later.
(footsteps are heard offstage)
Amber: (mocking) agonizing silence of grief from the loss of your food? Wow; such love.
(turns on the computer. It begins to make some noises and Amber hits it really hard and then it goes back to normal)
Amber: Besides, (gets up leans against the door and whispers) You bought the dress two sizes too small on purpose Mother. (reveals the dress hanging on the edge on the desk and starts typing)
(at this moment Blog Amber appears with a bowl of ice cream and wearing the dress while Amber is still typing)
Blog Amber: 7:08 pm on October 10th 2006. Mothers… Mothers…MOTHERS! (eats the ice cream and rants) They think they know everything. They think they are some “powerful” God that rules over the domestically conformed house to society’s standards. That is ludicracy, not my free-will to eat ice cream. Besides I think I look great eating ice cream in this dress, in theory not at all attractive but extremely satisfying. (smothers Ice cream into her mouth) Yummmmmm! That’s what I call a meal for the soul. (sets down the ice cream) Can’t beat happiness on a spoon MOTHER!
Amber: (Sighs and slams her fist on the computer counter hard and returns to typing)
Blog Amber: (not hesitating) Being sixteen these days is not easy. I deal with the stupidity of the generation that went before me. They believed in food, they believed in steak and mashed potatoes, they believed sugar was to make your kid sweeter. What we believe in is “going green” and resorting to our lives depending on the amount of calories we intake. We should be counting how many days the sun actually shines or really counting how many licks it takes to get to the center of the tootsie pop. That’s what we should be doing. I mean it’s grand and all to start eating better, but some days I just want normalcy. I want to enjoy an ice cream bowl every once in a while without having my motives questioned or having someone take it away from me. I never thought that would be too much to ask but apparently IT IS!
Snowflakes
Right Now
The first snowfall was a demanding presence when I woke up this morning. At first I thought maybe the sun was greeting me through the curtains or headlights from a car leaving early in the morning. When realizing that this could not possibly be it from how angelic white it was, a little bundle of joy seeped through my pores opening up the curtains. This opening revealed crisp white snow, the kind that seems to float so slow that it was possible to see each individual snowflake. Each snowflake displays an intricate design of God’s tears. There’s a season for everything. There’s a season for love, for grief, for forgiveness and for discovery. Because to each person their own time; to each person their own season.
The snowflakes however always come at the perfect time. They come when all the leaves have fallen and left only the dead carcasses of spring flings and summer getaways. Indian summer has faded in all its colors, leaving only blank canvases. It’s the closest place to death. Seeing all these beautiful things just fade away to only a distant memory. People tend to become so dark around this time; even the fashions only allow black, brown, purple and navy to cover the store’s shelves. It makes it hard to think of anything else besides freezing in our cars listening to oldies. The snowflakes though; they revive dead land to a place beyond just frozen life. Even in death there’s life they say. The snowflakes are an earthly proof that in death; is life.
Two Months Ago
Ally doesn’t think twice when she does things, she just does them. I think that would be good, doing things without conscience or reason. Reason is the ultimate form of admitting you think just like the rest of the world. How lovely, I have now become just what I didn’t want to be; normal. Ally however isn’t just normal, she’s abnormal. People either love her or hate her and Ally wouldn’t care what they thought as long as they bought her another beer. That’s what’s nice about Ally, she just doesn’t care.
Ally and I have been waitresses at a rural restaurant called “The Place” for about a year. It’s called “The Place” because this little town never wanted a fancy name for it. Fancy names get old real fast, and besides the obvious that it’s a place. Nobody can argue with that statement, that a place is a place. Therefore Ally and I work at “The Place”. As Ally says, “why the hell would I want to work anywhere else, at least here I can remember where I am going and somebody might even know my name“. Ally’s not at all my best friend, but if you ask her she would say yes and then tell you about how her shower was cold last night. Ally’s just like that, not knowing when to shut up.
It was a Tuesday evening in September when Ally finally realized that she knew nothing about me. She was waiting on some Buddhist tourists when she had this revelation. This revelation was so strong that she couldn’t wait until after she took down their orders. In a casual tone Ally simply said;”Here write it down” handing them the notebook and running to the back. At this time I was taking a smoke break outside when Ally busted the damn door open, “Bette do you ever talk?” I inhaled and puffed a smoke ray towards her feet before replying, “Nice shoes?” only to return to staring at the artwork on the fence. This pissed Ally off a little bit so she of course sat down next to me without asking, because if you ask beforehand they will most likely say no. Go figure.
“Bette, I mean talk DO YOU TALK?”
“Sometimes”
“Sometimes; like as in once every year? Bette that’s like saying the leprechauns only come out to play once a year on St. Patty’s day. Where did you grow up? Why is it you fell out of the sky to work here a year ago? WHY?”
“Grew up in Michigan, don’t visit if you don’t like unpredictable weather. Then I fell out of the sky to work here because I moved here. I needed a job, fancy that”
“Real funny Bette, so you’re from Michigan eh? Why did you leave Michigan to live in North Dakota, seems to me like you lost a bet with a devil.”
“Ally have you ever been to Michigan?”
“No, but I hear it’s quite pretty. I would like to go someday. Seems like a place with more to do and see than here.”
“So why don’t you go?”
Ally slumped back in her chair and for the first time she fell silent.
“Ally, why don’t you go?”
“Don’t know, say you want to leave this place and go?”
“I just came from there! I am not going back”
“Why not did you kill somebody?”
“No”
“Then what are you some sex offender on the run? I mean I highly doubt it since you probably got cobwebs up there. We need to go to the bar tonight, some guy’s going be your maid tonight.”
“Ally, I am not a sex offender and you can tell me about the bar tomorrow afternoon. Besides I liked our relationship better when you talked and I just sat here. It was a great friendship.”
“Bette, that’s your idea of friendship? Damn then I don’t want to know your definition of fun? Actually go ahead, define it.”
“Define fun?”
“Yeah, define fun.”
I paused as I inhaled the last of my cigarette, throwing it on the ground. Then getting up and walking towards the door I said, “If you want it defined then your barking up the wrong tree because unlike you I got work to do”. Opening the door to the kitchen I felt this weird sensation as if talking about stuff actually felt good. I never thought about going back to Michigan. Just like I never thought I would reveal that much information to anybody I worked with. I guess Ally has always had a way with people, getting them to be out of their element for just a little while.
The first snowfall was a demanding presence when I woke up this morning. At first I thought maybe the sun was greeting me through the curtains or headlights from a car leaving early in the morning. When realizing that this could not possibly be it from how angelic white it was, a little bundle of joy seeped through my pores opening up the curtains. This opening revealed crisp white snow, the kind that seems to float so slow that it was possible to see each individual snowflake. Each snowflake displays an intricate design of God’s tears. There’s a season for everything. There’s a season for love, for grief, for forgiveness and for discovery. Because to each person their own time; to each person their own season.
The snowflakes however always come at the perfect time. They come when all the leaves have fallen and left only the dead carcasses of spring flings and summer getaways. Indian summer has faded in all its colors, leaving only blank canvases. It’s the closest place to death. Seeing all these beautiful things just fade away to only a distant memory. People tend to become so dark around this time; even the fashions only allow black, brown, purple and navy to cover the store’s shelves. It makes it hard to think of anything else besides freezing in our cars listening to oldies. The snowflakes though; they revive dead land to a place beyond just frozen life. Even in death there’s life they say. The snowflakes are an earthly proof that in death; is life.
Two Months Ago
Ally doesn’t think twice when she does things, she just does them. I think that would be good, doing things without conscience or reason. Reason is the ultimate form of admitting you think just like the rest of the world. How lovely, I have now become just what I didn’t want to be; normal. Ally however isn’t just normal, she’s abnormal. People either love her or hate her and Ally wouldn’t care what they thought as long as they bought her another beer. That’s what’s nice about Ally, she just doesn’t care.
Ally and I have been waitresses at a rural restaurant called “The Place” for about a year. It’s called “The Place” because this little town never wanted a fancy name for it. Fancy names get old real fast, and besides the obvious that it’s a place. Nobody can argue with that statement, that a place is a place. Therefore Ally and I work at “The Place”. As Ally says, “why the hell would I want to work anywhere else, at least here I can remember where I am going and somebody might even know my name“. Ally’s not at all my best friend, but if you ask her she would say yes and then tell you about how her shower was cold last night. Ally’s just like that, not knowing when to shut up.
It was a Tuesday evening in September when Ally finally realized that she knew nothing about me. She was waiting on some Buddhist tourists when she had this revelation. This revelation was so strong that she couldn’t wait until after she took down their orders. In a casual tone Ally simply said;”Here write it down” handing them the notebook and running to the back. At this time I was taking a smoke break outside when Ally busted the damn door open, “Bette do you ever talk?” I inhaled and puffed a smoke ray towards her feet before replying, “Nice shoes?” only to return to staring at the artwork on the fence. This pissed Ally off a little bit so she of course sat down next to me without asking, because if you ask beforehand they will most likely say no. Go figure.
“Bette, I mean talk DO YOU TALK?”
“Sometimes”
“Sometimes; like as in once every year? Bette that’s like saying the leprechauns only come out to play once a year on St. Patty’s day. Where did you grow up? Why is it you fell out of the sky to work here a year ago? WHY?”
“Grew up in Michigan, don’t visit if you don’t like unpredictable weather. Then I fell out of the sky to work here because I moved here. I needed a job, fancy that”
“Real funny Bette, so you’re from Michigan eh? Why did you leave Michigan to live in North Dakota, seems to me like you lost a bet with a devil.”
“Ally have you ever been to Michigan?”
“No, but I hear it’s quite pretty. I would like to go someday. Seems like a place with more to do and see than here.”
“So why don’t you go?”
Ally slumped back in her chair and for the first time she fell silent.
“Ally, why don’t you go?”
“Don’t know, say you want to leave this place and go?”
“I just came from there! I am not going back”
“Why not did you kill somebody?”
“No”
“Then what are you some sex offender on the run? I mean I highly doubt it since you probably got cobwebs up there. We need to go to the bar tonight, some guy’s going be your maid tonight.”
“Ally, I am not a sex offender and you can tell me about the bar tomorrow afternoon. Besides I liked our relationship better when you talked and I just sat here. It was a great friendship.”
“Bette, that’s your idea of friendship? Damn then I don’t want to know your definition of fun? Actually go ahead, define it.”
“Define fun?”
“Yeah, define fun.”
I paused as I inhaled the last of my cigarette, throwing it on the ground. Then getting up and walking towards the door I said, “If you want it defined then your barking up the wrong tree because unlike you I got work to do”. Opening the door to the kitchen I felt this weird sensation as if talking about stuff actually felt good. I never thought about going back to Michigan. Just like I never thought I would reveal that much information to anybody I worked with. I guess Ally has always had a way with people, getting them to be out of their element for just a little while.
Pose
Pose
Not like that
Smile
But that’s too much
Be sexy
But don’t try to hard
Sell yourself
But not for money
It’s for the art
Now do your part
Not like that
Smile
But that’s too much
Be sexy
But don’t try to hard
Sell yourself
But not for money
It’s for the art
Now do your part
Friday, January 30, 2009
Open Books
I am open book
Not sitting on the shelf
Closed and unrecogniczed
But open
Freely read
With thousands of minds
Thinking, pondering
About what is said
Because where would we be
If I stayed closed
Or if Whitman
Or Thoreau
One day decided
There was no need
For their words to be bound
And produced by the masses?
What a terrible world
What a terrible world
It would be indeed
So I am an open book
Take a look
Not sitting on the shelf
Closed and unrecogniczed
But open
Freely read
With thousands of minds
Thinking, pondering
About what is said
Because where would we be
If I stayed closed
Or if Whitman
Or Thoreau
One day decided
There was no need
For their words to be bound
And produced by the masses?
What a terrible world
What a terrible world
It would be indeed
So I am an open book
Take a look
Open Books
I am open book
Not sitting on the shelf
Closed and unrecogniczed
But open
Freely read
With thousands of minds
Thinking, pondering
About what is said
Because where would we be
If I stayed closed
Or if Whitman
Or Thoreau
One day decided
There was no need
For their words to be bound
And produced by the masses?
What a terrible world
What a terrible world
It would be indeed
So I am an open book
Take a look
Not sitting on the shelf
Closed and unrecogniczed
But open
Freely read
With thousands of minds
Thinking, pondering
About what is said
Because where would we be
If I stayed closed
Or if Whitman
Or Thoreau
One day decided
There was no need
For their words to be bound
And produced by the masses?
What a terrible world
What a terrible world
It would be indeed
So I am an open book
Take a look
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Musicians curse
I extend my hand
trying hard
not to show the calases
clinging to the tip of my fingers
musicians curse I guess
bearing their souls in words
and never knowing what it's like
to hold in our earthly pains
our options of society
stressing our points
always making ourselves known
it shows
even when I don't speak
just grasp
intertwine with my fingers
fell what been said there
trying hard
not to show the calases
clinging to the tip of my fingers
musicians curse I guess
bearing their souls in words
and never knowing what it's like
to hold in our earthly pains
our options of society
stressing our points
always making ourselves known
it shows
even when I don't speak
just grasp
intertwine with my fingers
fell what been said there
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
I Believe
I believe in a higher power, because I like to know there is something more divine and wholesome to come to in this world. Maybe it is considered a crutch, but then again a nation voted for Obama for president because a poster said "Hope". I am not saying he is or isn't the hope for America...but I think all humans deep down like knowing there is good in the world.
My senior year I used to tell my friend Ryan that I was a Liberal...why? Because in a school of mostly republicans it made feel as so. However the reality of it is that I am merely a traditional being with an open soul. I accept life as it is, try not to judge too quickly and I enjoy the thought that someday I will marry a man and have children. I don't want this to happen in the next 24 hours but in the next 15 years...yeah, sounds good. I also still have goals and dreams to accomplish before any of this goes down, but in the future it looks great in a Christmas Card format.
I believe in a God...because I can enjoy the sunshine each morning and not think to myself I have wasted even on second on anything I put my mind too. Whether that is faith in a human being or dedication to my art or even keeping a good work ethic.
Thanks God.
My senior year I used to tell my friend Ryan that I was a Liberal...why? Because in a school of mostly republicans it made feel as so. However the reality of it is that I am merely a traditional being with an open soul. I accept life as it is, try not to judge too quickly and I enjoy the thought that someday I will marry a man and have children. I don't want this to happen in the next 24 hours but in the next 15 years...yeah, sounds good. I also still have goals and dreams to accomplish before any of this goes down, but in the future it looks great in a Christmas Card format.
I believe in a God...because I can enjoy the sunshine each morning and not think to myself I have wasted even on second on anything I put my mind too. Whether that is faith in a human being or dedication to my art or even keeping a good work ethic.
Thanks God.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
All I Need
I don't wear mini-skirts
or ripped up jeans
I don't flaunt my assets
for the world to see
I don't need some fancy get-ups
to feel I am pretty
all I need
all I need
Is the beach to bring in the salty waves
the trees to give me some good shade
to keep my mind like open windows
let the morning say hello
it's all I need
It's all I need
or ripped up jeans
I don't flaunt my assets
for the world to see
I don't need some fancy get-ups
to feel I am pretty
all I need
all I need
Is the beach to bring in the salty waves
the trees to give me some good shade
to keep my mind like open windows
let the morning say hello
it's all I need
It's all I need
We've Got Time
Sway side to side
Yeah you caught my vibes
Now move your hands like mine
And we a real pair of shoes boy
Pumas, with a little green siding
We don’t need to rub our rears together
Just to get each others attention
No No No
We just need to be in sync
Sing the lyrics, be in tune, think think think
Let’s not complicate this situation
Let’s not makes these serious expectations
Bring it down to holding hands
Because I am twenty years young
We’ve got the time
We’ve got the time
Walk left to right
Talking bout the L.A sights
Now you can catch my eye
And we will be lovers in each others blue seas
Tides, crashing with the shore
We don’t need to skinny dip and get sand in the cracks
NO NO NO
We just need to watch the sunset
Take in sunrays, watch colors fade, think think think
Let’s not complicate this situation
Let’s not makes these serious expectations
Bring it down to holding hands
Because I am twenty years young
We’ve got the time
We’ve got the time
Cause we have got 364 days x 1000
To get where we a going to
Your not dying this moment
And I am not checking out early
so whats the rush
sway side to side
walk left to right
watch the sunset
watch the sunrise
watch the moon disappear
Let’s not complicate this situation
Let’s not makes these serious expectations
Bring it down to holding hands
Because I am twenty years young
We’ve got the time
We’ve got the time
Yeah you caught my vibes
Now move your hands like mine
And we a real pair of shoes boy
Pumas, with a little green siding
We don’t need to rub our rears together
Just to get each others attention
No No No
We just need to be in sync
Sing the lyrics, be in tune, think think think
Let’s not complicate this situation
Let’s not makes these serious expectations
Bring it down to holding hands
Because I am twenty years young
We’ve got the time
We’ve got the time
Walk left to right
Talking bout the L.A sights
Now you can catch my eye
And we will be lovers in each others blue seas
Tides, crashing with the shore
We don’t need to skinny dip and get sand in the cracks
NO NO NO
We just need to watch the sunset
Take in sunrays, watch colors fade, think think think
Let’s not complicate this situation
Let’s not makes these serious expectations
Bring it down to holding hands
Because I am twenty years young
We’ve got the time
We’ve got the time
Cause we have got 364 days x 1000
To get where we a going to
Your not dying this moment
And I am not checking out early
so whats the rush
sway side to side
walk left to right
watch the sunset
watch the sunrise
watch the moon disappear
Let’s not complicate this situation
Let’s not makes these serious expectations
Bring it down to holding hands
Because I am twenty years young
We’ve got the time
We’ve got the time
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
What I See
I am convienently placed on the southwest corner of the loop around the lake in Echo Park. It's the perfect spot, because I can watch people pass by and watch the sun set and rise over this little patch of metro bliss. Yes, people trash it and occasionally I have been witness to some not so nice gatherings held here; but it's my favorite spot. The greatest part about it though is that the spot chose me, true blessings from above.
On this particular morning however, the sun rose as usual and the salty breeze helped welcome me to a new day. The only thing that was different was two people sitting in the bench next to me. Most of the time they don't notice me, but I surely notice them and it's delightful to hear their conversations. I don't mind, and they shouldn't either because it's not like I am going to say anything. I am just minding my own bussiness and watching the birds fly to and forth. If the conversation starts to get heated, then I will just give my attention to something else. We all need our privacy some days.
They were two young ladies, one was wearing a little plaid skirt, ripped leggings and some pleather (obviously fake) combat boots with a black tank top. Now it's just me but I do feel like it's time for a more classy fashion trend. The second girl was dressed more like me, natural colors and a sage green skirt that swayed with the wind. She was lovely, the other girl should really take some lessons from her. Oh wait! The pretty one is talking.
"Sometimes I hate hearing all the bullshit about the war and the economy...it's almost like we as a nation have it only plugged into our minds that bad news is good news. I mean, I know Bush wasn't the greatest president, but he was chosen to lead the country. People have only the people around them to blame and I think the sickest part is that we not only blame him but yet everyone else too...how about we blame ourselves. I blame myself for feeding into the media driven society and not presenting something worthwhile. I mean we've elected Obama and for once we have what posters say is our "hope", I just hope that he is hope. Words are great, but I want to see action. Don't you Amy?"
By this time the pretty one's face had a sour look on it and had her arms folded. The girl she called Amy really isn't talk talkitive because all she responded with was, "well, yeah". You would think for such a bold person she would have more to say on the subject, but I am just dust on the ground to them.
On this particular morning however, the sun rose as usual and the salty breeze helped welcome me to a new day. The only thing that was different was two people sitting in the bench next to me. Most of the time they don't notice me, but I surely notice them and it's delightful to hear their conversations. I don't mind, and they shouldn't either because it's not like I am going to say anything. I am just minding my own bussiness and watching the birds fly to and forth. If the conversation starts to get heated, then I will just give my attention to something else. We all need our privacy some days.
They were two young ladies, one was wearing a little plaid skirt, ripped leggings and some pleather (obviously fake) combat boots with a black tank top. Now it's just me but I do feel like it's time for a more classy fashion trend. The second girl was dressed more like me, natural colors and a sage green skirt that swayed with the wind. She was lovely, the other girl should really take some lessons from her. Oh wait! The pretty one is talking.
"Sometimes I hate hearing all the bullshit about the war and the economy...it's almost like we as a nation have it only plugged into our minds that bad news is good news. I mean, I know Bush wasn't the greatest president, but he was chosen to lead the country. People have only the people around them to blame and I think the sickest part is that we not only blame him but yet everyone else too...how about we blame ourselves. I blame myself for feeding into the media driven society and not presenting something worthwhile. I mean we've elected Obama and for once we have what posters say is our "hope", I just hope that he is hope. Words are great, but I want to see action. Don't you Amy?"
By this time the pretty one's face had a sour look on it and had her arms folded. The girl she called Amy really isn't talk talkitive because all she responded with was, "well, yeah". You would think for such a bold person she would have more to say on the subject, but I am just dust on the ground to them.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Tie The Ends
"I can't stop"
I said these words because I meant them, the shrink asked "why" because she's supposed to. It's a swinging ship ride like on the Santa Monica Pier, it's just keeps swinging faster and faster. We don't know what else to do but enjoy it because in minutes it's up and we are being told to get off. Except once we get off we feel this adrenaline rush that feeds on us like a cigerette feeds on soured minds and healthy lungs.
"I should go, It's a Wednesday", because it's all I had to say for myself. Then she, with her P.H.D rebuttled with, "Yes, it is...hence why your here". It made sense to me, seeing as I still had forty-five minutes until I would be late for school and all I had done was sit in this putrid marigold chair that was so old it was making a second round in home decor magazines. We have thought of all the things there were to think, maybe what we are is just dreamers with already dreamed dreams.
She spoke, "Wendy, I know it's hard but we all miss you."
Silence stayed strong as I lifted the muddy strands off the seas that resided underneath my long lashes and looked into her cloudy eyes. It was like when crayola met a coloring book; Madness began.
"miss me?"
"Yes you."
"but why?"
"because it's human"
"to a mother"
"to anybody"
"no"
"Yes, I miss hearing what you think."
We had just colored outside the lines, Strawberry shortcake was now serving blueberries instead; sour ones. Really, what I think is not that interesting.
Here's why, "I'm stopping Mother" and while I swiftly glided towards the door thinking that it had stopped she rebuttled. "Sure you are, I see your making just marvelous progress; so I'll see you next week?" I turned the knob opened it just a crack small enough for me to squeeze through because she was right. I can't stop swinging.
I said these words because I meant them, the shrink asked "why" because she's supposed to. It's a swinging ship ride like on the Santa Monica Pier, it's just keeps swinging faster and faster. We don't know what else to do but enjoy it because in minutes it's up and we are being told to get off. Except once we get off we feel this adrenaline rush that feeds on us like a cigerette feeds on soured minds and healthy lungs.
"I should go, It's a Wednesday", because it's all I had to say for myself. Then she, with her P.H.D rebuttled with, "Yes, it is...hence why your here". It made sense to me, seeing as I still had forty-five minutes until I would be late for school and all I had done was sit in this putrid marigold chair that was so old it was making a second round in home decor magazines. We have thought of all the things there were to think, maybe what we are is just dreamers with already dreamed dreams.
She spoke, "Wendy, I know it's hard but we all miss you."
Silence stayed strong as I lifted the muddy strands off the seas that resided underneath my long lashes and looked into her cloudy eyes. It was like when crayola met a coloring book; Madness began.
"miss me?"
"Yes you."
"but why?"
"because it's human"
"to a mother"
"to anybody"
"no"
"Yes, I miss hearing what you think."
We had just colored outside the lines, Strawberry shortcake was now serving blueberries instead; sour ones. Really, what I think is not that interesting.
Here's why, "I'm stopping Mother" and while I swiftly glided towards the door thinking that it had stopped she rebuttled. "Sure you are, I see your making just marvelous progress; so I'll see you next week?" I turned the knob opened it just a crack small enough for me to squeeze through because she was right. I can't stop swinging.
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