Saturday, July 25, 2009

Yearly Memories

My earliest memory is when I was 3 and my parents to me to a small orange building that used to be off Saginaw. It was where I first met Mr. Wilson. The man that helped me be able to live a some what normal life. I remember standing inbetween my parents while he gave me a hive five and I laughed then clung to my mom's leg. Every once in a while I remember that day... I remember how painful it all was. I remember the amount of time and effort my parents invested in those first years for me. The trips to my dad's work....the therapy, and the headphones. How much "Part of your World" from "the little mermaid"....had more meaning than I could grasp then. But that memory of the first meeting with him. Priceless. Thats the biggest shift in my life....yet I don't remember most of it.

Unfortunately Mr. Wilson died when I was 12. Car Accident...

I forget that this gift I was given...shouldn't be wasted. Though sometimes I forget that....so they are yearly memories.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Over A Year Now

I moved to L.A over a year ago. Since it stays over 60 degrees year round it hard to remember the months now a days...or even the seasons.

To be honest....sometimes it feels like I have done nothing for a year. Even though I have done some pretty cool things. Like - I couldn't stop loved ones from getting sick....and I didn't get a degree in anything. However - I grew into myself....and I think thats the most important thing.

I have learned that the people that still call even though they haven't seen your face in months...are truly your best friends....the miles inbetween makes no difference to them. I also find that the people in this city that cling to their insecurities and never follow through on anything...well they're search for fame and possible friendships are limited. I think the hardest part about being in L.A. is finding people that arn't just here for themselves. So many people want the spotlight....but the question is "for what?" If you seek the attention just to "express yourself" it seems undeserving...because what you should be seeking is change. Whatever the cause may be...but something that really grabs not your attention...but others. Friendships here have really opened my eyes....showing me some really dark places to people and what I could become if I let myself become that selfish. It's also shown me that sometimes people only want to be friends with you for the " I'll scratch your back if you scratch my back" mentaility. Not something to base a solid relationship on.

The other issue I have had...is boys. I had been dating this guy.....but the issue was that he can't commit to anything and he only wanted to be there....when it was convienant for him.
Dear Boy-
Unfortunately; Dear, there are two people in this tango....and it doesn't matter how macho or manly you try to live up to be...you fail miserably when it comes to classy women like myself. Because what makes a Man from a Boy is how he treats people. A woman is not always there when "your" ready...sometimes I wanted to be with you and your response was to not pick up the phone and then blame it on the fact that you only check your voicemail once a week and that you would love it if we had some pizza tonight.....ahem....you called me at 11 at night and you expect me to change my clothes and be with you? I don't think so.

yeah - try again asshole. with another woman, cause this one's gone.

But besides those minor details....L.A. is one fabulous place to be....it's one city where truly the harder your work at something you will see results. Also it truly does show a persons true colors.

Much Love.

Katy