Possibilities (song lyrics?)

Oh Hunny, I'm just sipping my tea
Cause today I was just such the busy bee
working late
wasting the day
just thinking of the likes of you, so
lets be lovers and get it over with
cause im sick of sitting,
waiting for the day where
we'll be together like,
sonny and cher
oh wait!
we don't want that fate
so ---
pull up a chair
look
and listen
don't give me that look
cause I'm not kidding
when these words leave my lips
that our years are so limited
to go at the pace we're keeping
so get over it
we've made some mistakes
both had loves pass us by
looked deep inside ourselves
to seek what were missing
and I think I know
just maybe have a thought
it's me

Black Havoc Friday

Once again another day that is in need of my own personal opinion other than verse or re-written to be said by a fictional character. Black friday, you tricky son of a bitch; you fooled us all this year! I have had the "honor" of working at the Disney and Hallmark store in previous years on the glorious day, watching mothers fight over the last Buzz Lightyear...watching grannies slam canes on top of the last ornament of their prized collection. Complete and utter CHAOS, but yet we still do it!!! This year I worked at Teavana...who decided black friday wasn't a worthy enough day to have discounts, so basically we pissed off a lot of people looking to get their ridiculously high priced tea for cheap. Yeah Teavana!

Honestly though, this year was horrible when it came to good discounts. I was looking in shops on my way to work and there were no lines out the door, no mass chaos of people, it seriously just looked like another weekend at the mall. Also the sales...were nothing worthy to bring a customer in. Last year I made a special trip to Victoria's secret because if you spent $70 you got a free black tote and $50 worth of beauty products, and I stock up on my favorite scent "Very Sexy" at this time of year because of all the Gift Box sets on sale. Last year my perfume, lotion and shower get set was $25 AND it came in this cute patent red pleather bag (which I still use in my bathroom to hold beauty products). This year the sale on this perfume and lotion set (no shower gel) was $45. Still it's saving me about a good $30 from the actual cost...BUT STILL! It came with one less item and it cost more, what a buzz kill. I know it's kind of pathetic and slightly "shopaholic" of me that it bothers me even in the slightest... but really lets say it, WHAT a buzz kill!

My grandmother on the other hand, doesn't ever recognize how the sales have lacked their luster as in previous years. Then because of this she was up at 4 am in the morning with all the other people, because for her it's not about the sale; it's about the adrenaline rush to have that item. I love her; really, I do, but some days I wonder. (Also did I mention she wakes up this early to get more moving dolls to fit in the empty windows of the house?) I used to have nightmares as a kid thinking all the Santa Bears she collects at Macy's from the past 30 years were going to eat me in my sleep. Yes, there are THAT many of them and they just sit on a large marigold colored couch that rubs your clothing the wrong way everytime you sit on it. I love my grandma, because my life wouldn't have been quite as interesting without her... God bless her Black Friday loving soul. ; )

Another black friday come and gone, glad I got my tea and none of my dollars got spent down the drain. ; ) til' next time-

-Katy Kettles

Thanks (for the) Giving

I wanted this blog to be strictly for my writing, but today was just so fascinating I couldn't tell it from any other form or verse but my own. My family and loved ones are two-thousand miles away from me, which made this holiday hard to think about. To take my mind off things my roommate and I decided to volunteer at a homeless shelter in Santa Monica. I used to do these kind of things all the time back home and it felt so refreshing to go back and do something so selfless. Especially when the homeless double the amount back from and it was breathtaking seeing how many people were fed, clothed and talked to. I mean I was working strictly on folding clothes, but watching all these people pick up just the bare essentials made me think about all the time I go after something I want versus what I need. I gave up the last bit of grocery money I had this week to feed people, because I don't need it. I never needed it. I was unpacking belts and was going to take them to the belt table and before I even got there 15 belts were ripped from my hands...as if the belt was going to hold up the pieces of their life together for another year. As human beings it's so easy to do something like this and then just go back to our daily lives without even questioning why we fall back to old habits so quickly. After we left, my roommate and I rented bikes and biked down the Santa Monica Shoreline, just like that we were back to our daily lives, biking out the thoughts of our days, later to return to a roof over our heads and food in the fridge. What a crazy world we live in and it just keeps spinning, no matter how special a day may seem in the calendar.

I am at a loss for words...I helped clothe, feed and make a signifigant difference instead of eating to fullfill myself, I indulged in fullfilling a need in my soul. What a world, what a world.

Life Goes On

Caring too much is what I always do wrong
falling in love with love
because it's fun for a while
much too often one breaks my stride
ripping out my wings
go back to the beginning
re-teach myself to fly
don't worry
I'll be fine
I'm a fighter, I'm a lover
In love with lifes wildest ride

Cleaning The Attic

droplets gliding down
cheek to neck
neck to breast
droplets slowly pick up their pace
hair is damp
clothes are baggy
droplets fill my eyes with God's tears
silence is golden
must look forward
droplets tell the world what I need to hear
we are broken
angels have fallen

Lovely Sins

Passionate Beginings
Urge me to sin
take off the undergarments
dance to your wind
stand strong
resist the need to pull away
and leave your side
Passionate embraces
keep me toungue-tied
unable to speak
keeping the freak in me
to be timid and weak
allowing you to take the reigns
starting the duo hurricane
Passionate endings
make this hard to break
delicate touches
have my heart to ache
leave be in the sheets
lustful thoughts
keep me complete

Winter Blues

I ache,
I strain
With freezer burns
That have yet to feel the white wonder flakes
The skin that should have faded
Still hangs onto the beaches glow'
While inside roots a winters icy night
Until I come home
Then the salt that clings to my sandy locks
Will calm with the snowy tides
Leaving only the internally trained traditions
To finally have a resolved mind

A Temporary Fix - Part One

It was a chilly outside when Julie stepped out of her car to start her morning run at the local park. A crisp breeze urged the sun-kissed leaves to welcome Julie into her sanctuary and start her run. She usually runs in this park for hours; contemplating her life, religion, and the most common thought was love. This particular morning though she ran in an old t-shirt that had once been the emblem of her being. It was a brown shirt of a Christian band, one of those shirts that turns a dirty or commonly known pop culture icon and makes it “cookie-cutter family” friendly. The shirt is now torn at the sleeves and cut in front to help Julie’s need to breathe. She always had a need to breathe; feeling confined and caged to her mind most of the time. Being bound to be what the old running shirt wanted her to be, because for example when she ran past elderly couples, they waved. It was obvious these couples waved because her shirt portrayed a life-style that was pleasing to see on a young adult in what is considered now a hell- bound world. Julie always politely waved back, even though she knew it was under false pretenses. If these couples knew what Julie really thought about on her morning runs they probably would take back those waves of pure judgment.
Julie’s shoes that she ran in were given by her mother. When Julie ran she pictured her childhood home and would take hold of an imaginary pencil. This pencil was her way of fixing what was and when this didn’t work, out came the red sharpie. One of the strongest moments that always provoked Julie’s blood to rise was a memory of when she was ten years old. It didn’t ever matter how much time had passed, Julie still remembered that night. She was sitting on her bed full of Disney splendor. Her room was like this castle, pink and full of budding femininity; she was a suburban princess. However everything pertaining to that kingdom didn’t start or end like in fairytales, just like how the ruffled bubble-gum pink canopy didn’t keep the sin-monsters from coming to her. Sometimes things just stayed bad, no matter how beautiful the scenery around her might have seemed; she felt no attachment to any of it. Little Julie sat there on her bed; just waiting, listening for the footsteps. During these thoughts as she ran, she would hasten; tightening her face and exposing the truth through her blood shot eyes. The footsteps got louder and louder reminding her of the first time she was touched, held like a man’s toy. Normally that feeling is pleasant, that is to an adult, but at ten it’s nothing more than just a violation of her childhood. This one time would keep her trapped from that ever feeling fine about her body; it would remain dirty, un-whole and un-fit for a man to love. Jolting past the dying trees, but she didn’t care as the dead leaves danced their last breath at her feet. She felt as if they were somehow linked to the red sharpie just killed and marked what was considered wrong. It made her face lighten as through the memory was now those dead leaves that are crunched by her feet. This was the phase one of her run, releasing the life experiences that could not be fixed, not even by the imaginary red sharpie she pictured in her mind.


-Parts 2 and 3 coming soon-

Shine on Love, It's your Rays Today

For so long
I was empty
leaking
spilling
agonizing
over what was me
who was this lady
what was this reality
but all in all
mirrors taint what really is
beneath my skin
running through my veins
are my words
my voice
my stories
enjoy.